Who am I?

Lately I’ve been struggling with myself. From the way I look, to the way I act, to the way I parent. I’m finding myself trying to reinvent myself to the person I should be but it isn’t actually making me happy. I can’t afford a whole new wardrobe, and I feel like my old one isn’t the ‘me’ I’m meant to be.

Tonight, I’ve come to a realisation. Looking at a recent picture of myself I don’t look like me at all. I’ve cut my hair off and don’t know what to do with it now. My clothes are frumpy with the odd bit of old me thrown in. The fact is, I’ve lost my confidence. I can talk to anyone, I can make friends and form new relationships no problem (once a bar lass, always a bar lass) but it’s my self esteem which has taken the knock.

I’ve found myself in a strange new town and it’s only natural that people are going to form an opinion of me. Back home I didn’t care, I had my friends, I had the people who knew me as me, and therefore I didn’t need to be a ‘mumsy’ mum in order to feel like I fit in. It’s different here. I don’t fit in like I did back home. I’m the youngest, and the less mature. I don’t have a fancy house, and I certainly don’t have a fancy job. It makes me feel like I’m less than everyone else. It makes me feel like they feel sorry for Isla that I’m her parent. I’m not perfect, maybes if I was 10 years older I’d fit in. Maybes if I dressed like them, or if I drove to playgroup rather than walked in the rain wearing my partners coat as mine isn’t waterproof and I can’t find a new one that I like.

I’ve tried to fit in and I don’t. I’ve made friends anyways. So here’s to the rest of the misfit mums out there, let’s turn up tomorrow in our ripped jeans and DMs and not give a shit. My child is awesome, confident, and beyond happy, and y’know what?

She gets that from her mama.

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21 Month Update

She’s so close to being TWO! How is this happening? Why is this happening? Broodiness has hit an all time high at this point as shes so not a baby anymore. This month, or past two/three month since the last update has been busy and full of learning. She’s such a little crazy character and I love watching how she grows each day. This age is such a sponge age and I feel like she’s learning and absorbing everything she hears and sees. So we need to watch our language!

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Product Review – Deuter Kid Comfort Air Child Carrier

As a family, we have always enjoyed baby wearing and I have personally done so since Isla was a few weeks old. Starting off with a stretchy and moving onto a Mai-tai, which is what I chose to use now. My partner Mathew has a much larger frame than me so wearing a Mai-tai isn’t comfortable for him at all and he doesn’t feel 100% confident with the ties.

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Product Review – Quinny Yezz Stroller

When Isla was 9 months old I quickly found that she was much happier in a world facing position in her pushchair. After a week or so she would no longer parent face so I began my search for a stroller. My main requirements where two things: 1. I wanted something compact and lightweight and 2. I wanted something eye catching and stylish as I really hate the look of most strollers.

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Let them be Kids!

So, I’ve wanted to write a little post about my more personal views for a while but never felt like the time was right. Partly because lots of people will disagree and I don’t want to cause a debate but also partly because these opinions only developed once I became a parent and I need to be sure that something annoys me before I vent about it. So here goes.. (I appoligise for the crappy cartoon images in this post, but it really helps to get my point across).

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Creative Activity – Beach Art

We’re lucky enough to live pretty much on the beach so I’m unsure as to why this idea hasn’t crossed my mind before. Today we went for a walk along the beach and Isla collected sticks and shells like she does every time we go there and I thought it would be a great idea to incorporate them into our crafts. It also means we can visit one of the nearby forests too and make a craft page with the things we find there.

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